Time On The Bench
This is the first of my Monday Miracle Series
I have thought about a Blog “Monday Miracles” for a LONG time. You know those things that ferment in our heads and then finally one day it just happens…well today is that day for me to share the first of hopefully many, Monday Miracles.
I made this coffee cup a long time ago and I regularly use it, only on Mondays. I have a ton of coffee cups that tell my history, my projects, my silliness. And today I am drinking from this lovely cup and want to share the history behind this cup.
I LOVE Mondays. I know that is probably different than 99% of others. Most people dread starting a LONG work week and Mondays can be pure drudgery. A long time ago I felt like that too – but not today.
Today my Mondays are filled with Hope, Joy, Excitement, Planning…I get to drink my coffee from a beautiful cup, in the comfort of my home office and relish the morning and all the miracles of being right here, right now. I have said “NO Thanks” to most everything that was not serving me and today my life is truly filled with only those things that fuel me. I eat great healthy food. I am sleeping well. I have allowed fat to leave my body in the most beautiful, healthy way. I have loving relationships with my kids and grand kids. I have family and friends I love and treasure and who love me back. AND I have my groove back. I had lost my groove for a long time.
When my life blew up majorly a long time ago, it was really hard to trace the root cause. Was it the impact of another divorce, job change, loss of a business, major house move, menopause, financial issues or empty nest? I had all those things going on ALL at once, so I really didn’t know which issue finally caused me to lose my balance and which one(s) finally took me out.
I had ALWAYS been resilient. I had ALWAYS bounced back (sometimes too quickly).
I had ALWAYS been able to “pull myself up by my boot straps and get back in the saddle.” But not this last time. I was not able to muster the strength to “start over” gracefully, once again. I was older. I was more tired. I was more weary. I had lost trust. I had got back in the saddle too many times before, with too much blind trust. So I put myself on the bench many years ago. I took an adult time out.
I don’t know if I stayed on the bench too long. But it was a LONG time. I added to my misery by gaining 50 pounds – wallowing in sweets and unhealthy food. When I lost some dear, dear people in my life, my grief was crippling. I lost key people who I deeply loved and trusted. It felt devastating for a LONG time.
I knew I was not doing well. I knew I was only slogging through the day. I was barely treading water and I felt like I was in a pool with all my clothes, plus a heavy coat. It felt like I did back in 7th grade when I fell in the creek behind my friend’s house, in the winter, in my corduroy coat…weighted down, dripping in misery, sloshing as I walked home from my friend’s house. Embarrassed, I just wanted to be invisible.
My time on the bench was not all good – but much good came from this time.
I allowed myself to think consciously. I allowed myself to decide and process what was truly most important in my life. I allowed myself to look at all my activities and let go of anything not serving me. I allowed myself to look at a blank piece of paper and list only those things that I really wanted in my life. I allowed myself to think simply. I tapped back into my passions. I tapped into my creative side. I lit the fire on my silliness factor again…I love silliness (shenanigans) and I promised myself to move my feet in the direction of all those things on that paper.
I shed the weight.
I restarted my business.
I have a life filled with my priorities.
I laugh out loud all by myself at simple silliness.
I documented all the steps I took to get my groove back.
I put those steps in a wonderful workbook – to share with the world.
I love Mondays because it was a day I allowed myself to “reset” my life – even at my darkest times. For all the years I struggled, Mondays were still miracles to me – because I allowed myself to imagine life better, I allowed myself to dream of all the things I wanted in my life. I allowed myself to “think better”.
Monday was my Miracle day…
Thankfully today, the gift of Monday Miracles fill my life – everyday.