ATM Shuffle
A few years ago, I was heading to work and needed to stop by the ATM for cash. This little neighborhood bank right outside a gated 55+ community near me, was my go to bank – so convenient and it felt safe. When I drove, up a gentleman was using one of the two ATMs. […]
White Pants
Years ago, while working at Apple, I would go into work very early – leaving my house before 6 am so I could get off early to be with my sons to support them in their sports. This one morning my husband was going to take my car into the shop for me – […]
The Vicious Cycle…
The vicious cycle of not eating well, not sleeping well, gaining weight, being stressed and becoming depressed, can seem much like the dilemma of the chicken and the egg…. What came first? What started this mess? And what do I do to get out of this vicious cycle? The vicious cycle that is killing my […]
Pointed Arrows – Business and Love
Oh my goodness…I remember telling a friend years ago that I needed to be careful where I pointed my arrow. (Cupid arrow that is)…because when I targeted LOVE it happened. So I knew to be true to myself and only go after what I truly wanted. Lesson: Don’t point my arrow if I was not […]
Hope and Change 🙏
On this Juneteenth -I am ashamed to say this is truly the first time I have truly been aware of it’s true meaning. I am ashamed of my ignorance, for so long. I disliked history in school. It was dry and boring and I did not connect with it. As an adult I […]

Cost of a Broken Heart
(This is a LONG read so get comfy…) At the end of my second marriage I was sitting in a financial planner’s office, when he stepped out to get a printout. My eyes shifted to the poster on his wall. 21 Suggestions For Success. Right at the top. 1. Marry the right person. This one […]

Focus On The Joy
Oh my goodness. It was 7:15 AM, Sunday morning and I’m heading out the door still in my PJ pants, to do a quick drop off to a friend’s porch. I am taking her a small bouquet of birthday balloons with a tiny token (felt pads for her chair legs). Gifts get way more practical […]

Dare To Be Six Again
I was given a new gift this past weekend. The Gift of Loving Determination and Relentless Pursuit From the same two year old Who helped me rebrand my business 4 years ago, Into: www.nothanks.me. She is now six (almost seven as she reminds me often) The gift she gave me this weekend was the full […]

It’s Time
It’s Time. Time for putting your time to use.Time for putting your time to use for good.Time for getting in the game.Time for staying in the game.Time for not stopping.Time to keep going. It’s Time. I was gifted a clock from a start up company 20 years ago… All employees received the same gift clock […]

STOP Stopping
STOP Stopping Yourself STOP Stopping yourself short ofA Goal.A Finish line.A Dream. STOP Stopping yourself Period. Every time we stop ourselves from achieving – we are cheating ourselves of something precious, something vital Something valuable. Every time we restart-we have to muster up a new source ofEnergyMotivationFocusCommitment It is SOOO much EASIER to keep going, […]

The Last Thread
While sewing face masks I used the last thread on an old spool. I realized the stitches were not taking and thought the bobbin was out of thread…but nope it was the top spool of thread. A very strange feeling came over me. In my 50+ years of sewing I have never used a spool […]

Naked Finger
A lady on twitter posted she and her husband removed their wedding bands after 20 years of being together. She posted a picture of her naked finger with the indention the ring had made on her finger after so many years. My heart sank. I wanted to cry for her. But I don’t know if […]

…Choose Peace
I planned to post earlier this month, on December 6th…and I could feel something very strong holding me back. I could feel there was something more to be understood. Voila! I found that “something more” just yesterday. Here goes. I had never been fired from any position in my life. My first babysitting job was […]

Dirty Dishes & Dreams
It was early Saturday morning and the dirty containers in my sink was a reflection of my long week. I had not been home long enough to even wash two containers a day…and there was 10 of them, all piled up. My sink looked sad. I felt sad. I felt lonely. I felt alone. My […]
The GAP
Years ago a friend shared how she would decorate her house like a “Winter Wonderland” for Christmas, every year. She talked about how every nook and cranny of her home was decorated for the holidays. She talked about how she went “Over the Top” decorating. And how long it would take her to take down […]
Hurting to Healing
A beautiful young lady approached me last evening and within seconds tears were streaming down her face. She had barely started to ask for help, when tears flowed from her beautiful, wide eyes. Just the mere gesture of her approaching me, wanting to ask for help had made her vulnerable, open, accepting and probably anxious […]
Go On With Love
A year ago today one of my best friends passed away. Cancer ended her physical life but she lives on deeply, lovingly in all the lives she touched. And she touched many. Kindly, deeply, truly. She was one of a kind. No one I know has so many people think they were her best friend […]
Cost of Giving Up
Looking back you might see miles of woulda, coulda, shouldas Hindsight and wisdom are common travel partners Both a blessing when used for good Never good when they free load in your head Distracting you, weighing you down There is NOTHING you can do to change the road behind There is EVERYTHING you can do […]
Closure
Closure for me has come in various forms over the years. Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, but when real closure happens, my world shifts. In a BIG momentous way. Last night, after sending a very long and sensitive email to a challenging past love and then writing a scathing tweet about the resident in the White […]
RESPOND vs. REACT
Many would think there is not much difference between these words. RESPOND. REACT. Even Webster’s Dictionary uses these words almost interchangeably. Copied from Webster on line: For anyone with experience in effective communications, there is a HUGE difference between these two words. A HUGE difference with the results of each of these actions. My thoughts […]
AWE…
I am in awe of the human body and all the intricate parts that make up a human being. The miracles are endless when you think of how many things we have going on at one time. The fact I can type this message without looking at a keyboard, is astonishing to me. How signals […]
Daily Dilemma
Years ago I purchased a domain called www.dailydilemma.com with the intention of building a site someday, to share every day dilemmas. The site has never been built. Daily Dilemma has just been my personal domain I have paid for – for the last 20+ years. It is so personal and so important to me that […]
Pending
For many, there is nothing more agonizing than the word “Pending” Pending a decisionPending a directionPending a response Pending approvalPending, pending, pending…. Many of us do not do well with “pending’ status Plans, possibilities, prayers, and even patience can be great…but “Pending” ugh… Pending can be one big buzz kill if we allow it It […]
How Many Chances
How many chances does a person get to do the right thing? How many times do we allow ourselves to be affected by other’s actions before we say enough, no more. NO Thanks. How many chances does a business get to do the right thing? How many times do we plead our case before we […]
Deeply Disillusioned
Many years ago, I had a manager tell me “you get deeply disillusioned.” His comment was perfectly timed & spot on. I could not have categorized my sentiments at that moment, more perfectly. I was deeply disappointed with a decision at work – in stark contrast to how I thought things could be. I had […]

Imagine & Make It So
How does a house come to be? It is first imagined, then put on paper, plans created, permits secured and piece by piece, a house is built. This is the case with anything. It is first imagined. And then steps must be taken to make it so. For many, many years I have kept the […]
Resist or Embrace
Probably the two most powerful and opposing positions we will ever take in our life. Resist or Embrace. They are complete opposites. If you compare Resist and Embrace to the North and South Pole – there is not a direct line of site between the two. The curvature of the Earth does not allow you […]
Tutus, Walkers & Worms
After Christmas and before the New Year has been hard. Thank goodness for Hallmark movies where everything ends like we want things to be. Not real life – but better. This year has me missing two very special people from my life. It feels unreal. Like a bad dream. Wishing I could wake up with […]
Finding Fault
Everything was going great. Christmas cards mailed, check. Special cooking and baking done, check. Presents wrapped, checked. Attended beautiful church service, check. Kids and grand kids healthy, check. Families arrived safely from out of town, check. Couldn’t want for more, check. Everything important seemed well and good. Wonderful check. And then…something happens and taints all […]
A Metronome For Living
I have been blessed to have neighbors above me with young children who play the piano. Daily. Regularly. Without fail. When I was hurting and in fear for my dearest friend and her cancer diagnosis – the piano played. When there were struggles inside my own family – the piano played. When I was challenged […]
Monday Miracles – 12.10.18
Time On The Bench This is the first of my Monday Miracle Series I have thought about a Blog “Monday Miracles” for a LONG time. You know those things that ferment in our heads and then finally one day it just happens…well today is that day for me to share the first of hopefully many, […]
Assume YOUR Goal & Make It Happen
I learned a new priceless lesson. From the one who taught me “No Thanks” at the tender age of 2. She provided me a brand new priceless gift. Assume YOUR Goal & Make It Happen – Priceless I am constantly in awe of her good nature, Her kind heart, her empathy and compassion. But once […]

My TRUE “A GAME”
I might have just committed a life changing “NO THANKS”. I felt immediate relief the first 4 hours after saying “NO THANKS”. And then fear and doubt came barging into my head shouting… “What did you just do????” I said “NO THANKS” to a potential position, the day after an interview. PEOPLE were great. COMPANY […]
Better NOT Bitter
After taking a break from coaching, I recommitted to flip my coaching switch from OFF to ON. I was ready to start coaching again. Fully. Actively. Passionately. Part of my recommitting involved dusting off my coaching profile in a program where I had previously been “certified”. I was disappointed to say the least, maybe even […]
CHOOSE LOVE
My heart is heavy…my friend is rapidly slipping away and I am beyond torn. I don’t want her to suffer, but I don’t want her to ever leave. I have cried for the past 22 months since her diagnosis and now I can see this disease taking her in front of my very eyes. Her […]
Shame and Restoration
If I were not the one writing this – I would probably turn away just seeing the word “shame”, but I pray you don’t. I pray you continue reading. There is a gift at the end I would hate for you to miss. Shame – the mere mention of the word shame makes me sick […]
Words Matter
Being able to communicate easily and instantly – is a gift. A precious and fragile gift, to be handled as carefully as a Faberge egg. Reckless handling of this gift, can cause great damage – instant damage, irreparable damage. In today’s world, where a thought can be put into words and sent to all parts […]
Save the Date
Frequently we are invited to weddings, anniversary parties, baby showers and all sorts of wonderful celebrations – beginning with a “Save the Date” notice. “Save the Date” notices for these blessed events, come to us (sometimes formally) to make sure we reserve the time. So much planning is put into celebrating these wonderful events, so […]
Connecting the Dots…
Connecting the Dots… Life lived one day at a time is not always clear or understandable. Why things happen like they do? What does this mean? Why now? What for ? However…life viewed over time, is like the eye test that becomes clearer, clearer and clearer. This week something happened that took me back 35 […]
Get Real to Heal
I feel like my heart broke a LONG time ago I have kept waiting for it to mend Going through the motions Sitting on the bench Picking myself up Getting back in the race Resorting back to the bench Repeat Repeat Repeat Nothing seemed to work I can finally see why I still feel broken […]
Be Authentic
Once we have felt our authenticity silence a room – we understand what it feels like to let a genie out of a bottle. There is no putting it back…the bottle has been opened and our authenticity has filled the room. The light of authenticity has been lit and to try and douse the flame, […]
The Power of RESET
The Power of RESET I slept 12 hours last night with only one nature break halfway through the night. These were not 12 restless hours – these were 12, pass out cold hours. I was not hungover from food or drink – but I was totally in need of sleep, deep sleep. I had not […]
Not Now
What does Not Now mean? Does Not Now mean NOT EVER ? I believe Not Now is relative to the situation. Some examples: Not Now – for a child waiting to go to school Not Now – for a teenager wanting to go somewhere alone Not Now – for a young couple hoping to conceive […]
Paid in Full
What does PAID in FULL mean to you? A job completed? A payment satisfied? An account resolved – whether paid or not? Recently I had the experience where I was told my account was paid in full…and this was unexpected news to me. I didn’t know of any extra payment angels in my life and […]
Compare and Despair
I had been going regularly to the gym for several months, had lost over 22 pounds, was working with a trainer during the weekdays I was still 20 pounds away from my goal and 30 pounds away from my ultimate (stretch) goal – but I was feeling really good about my progress. This one Saturday […]
Letting Go
So true the saying if you love something “Let it Go”….and the best thing to let go of is resentments. Holding onto resentments is like holding a bouquet of thorns. Not roses, just thorns. There is no beauty in resentments. Holding this kind of bouquet ONLY hurts the person holding the bouquet. When we are […]
The Chicken or the Egg
Talking about how to get good sleep is like solving the question of the Chicken and the Egg – which comes first is very important. If you eat well will this help with sleep or if you sleep well will this help you eat better. Solid sleeping can many times be achieved by having a […]
The Blank Check
The home is the hub of all connection points. Work, Home, Play, School, Relationships….its the melting pot where all connections come together. It is understandable the home can be the messiest area of all, to keep it together. The number of people in a home drastically increases the number of connections points. Large families naturally […]
Play is the Best Medicine
Years ago one of my co-workers placed a sticker on his low file cabinet that read “NO GRASS CLIPPINGS”. It was a bumper sticker size label and I don’t know why he put it there but it was like a challenge to me. For months I stared at this sticker and never understood why he […]
An Adult Timeout
If you are just out of a failed relationship you might want to give yourself a gift and take an adult time out. Yes, a real, adult timeout from being in a relationship. Not a fake time out until the next “Please be Mr Right” comes along. No, I mean a REAL timeout. A timeout […]
The Short Commute & The Donut Shop
I have worked for over 35 years in the Silicon Valley and have commuted at least one hour, one way, for all of my working years, except one year. One year – I lived less than 4 blocks away from my work. I hated my short commute that one year. I did not pass by […]
The Gym & The TuTu
A few years ago I was working with a trainer at the gym. He had approached me one day – giving me guidance on using a machine to maximize the benefit of my workout. His way was much harder and so I told him “No thanks” to his suggestion…I wanted to do it my easy, […]
Business Trip and Son’s 8th Birthday
Our careers are not islands – parents have full lives to support outside of work – so what happens when an international business trip is being planned right on top of your son’s upcoming eighth birthday? Well when your seven year old son tells you he is going to runaway if you are not home […]
Winning vs. Participating
When joining a team or an event – it is good to understand your goal – as it could drastically effect your involvement and the level of commitment you are willing to put forward. Winning involves much more time and commitment versus participating. There are many things you might say “NO Thanks” to if you […]
The Conditioned Response
When opening a cupboard last week a broken piece of something fell on the counter – that was unrecognizable. A small piece of plastic about 1/4 the size of a dime. I had no idea where it came from and no idea what it did – until I could no longer keep my cupboard door […]