Go On With Love

August 8, 2019

A year ago today one of my best friends passed away.

Cancer ended her physical life but she lives on deeply, lovingly in all the lives she touched. And she touched many. Kindly, deeply, truly. She was one of a kind.

No one I know has so many people think they were her best friend – because she treated all of us so special. So uniquely. So genuinely.

She was the one who first started our “girlfriend weekend getaways” years ago. It was my birthday when I was kidnapped. They called it “chick napping” and they whisked me away for a girl’s weekend…and even cancelled my upcoming date, without my knowledge. 🙂 🙁

That’s some kind of girl tribe…and my friend was the Queen Bee. Our Queen of Hearts. Always being an example of being kind, decent and caring.

Cancer had knocked on her door 17 years earlier…and she did everything she could to recover and she did. Valiantly for the next 17 years.

When cancer struck the second time, she fought it again. She never gave up.

Two weeks before she passed she told me “I’m fighting this” and fist pumped in the air…and fight she did. She never said I’m ready to go. She never did let go.

She never let go of her husband, her children, her grandchildren. She never let go of her extended family and friends or her work. She never let go of life.

She didn’t have to say goodbye because everything she might have said in a goodbye was said in how she lived. When you live so beautifully you leave nothing unsaid. Her smile. Her laugh. Her eyes. Her mischief. Her kind and fun spirit. She was contagious.

I am so grateful. So grateful I had the honor of knowing her for over 24 years. Her middle name was Grace. Grace was the first thing she always gave to others. Grace. She was never quick to judge. She spent time to understand.

Losing this kind of friend is devastating.

Not ever having this kind of friend would be worse. Tragic in fact.

I am beyond grateful for having her in my life. She is still in my life because of all the good she planted. As the Queen of Hearts she was always weaving many lives together that might have never touched or connected otherwise.

Her passing hurts so much – because I loved her so much. My heart was all in.

She showed me how to live. She showed me how to not give up. Ever.

She showed me what being kind to others really looked like. I am better for it. I am better because of her. I am better because of watching how she lived. How she loved. How her family knew they were her highest priority.

And finally, she showed me how to go on with LOVE.

I will forever be grateful for my 24 years with her. We seized the great times like no others. The contagious laughter and laugh till we pee our pants times, are forever etched in my soul.

Last evening, after spending time with our smaller hive, I cried on the way home. And then started to laugh uncontrollably, at the memories going through my head. Times shared with my dear friend.

She is the priceless gift that keeps on giving.

I am beyond grateful for the times we had.

I keep telling myself to be grateful for all that was and not grieve what isn’t.

This is much harder to do than say.

Losing someone we love hurts.

Hurts horribly.

Losing someone from our daily life is devastating.

I have had to force myself to make LOVE stronger than loss.

LOVE for all we had.

LOVE for all we shared.

LOVE for all the good times.

LOVE for all the GREAT times.