A lady on twitter posted she and her husband removed their wedding bands after 20 years of being together. She posted a picture of her naked finger with the indention the ring had made on her finger after so many years.
My heart sank.
I wanted to cry for her.
But I don’t know if she was crying or not – because from what she shared, they were parting as friends.
So many people started chiming in on her post with their own opinions and thoughts and experiences…and my heart started to go my own direction too – but I tried to stop it. I tried to just stay present for her – for what was going on in her world. I responded how her post touched me deeply and I offered her love and prayers as she moves forward.
And then I knew I needed to write about it. My heart was moved and it felt like a gut punch to me and I needed to write…for me. Not for her. But for me. I knew my blog would be titled Naked Finger.
The truth is – I have absolutely no idea what is going on in her world. I don’t have a clue what her heart is going through – all I know is the impact a naked finger had on my heart.
Years of coaching have given me time to practice “holding the space” for someone else going through something. Anything.
Something BIG. Something LIFE CHANGING. Something SAD. Something HAPPY. Something TRAUMATIC. Something WONDERFUL.
I have practiced hard to listen to someone’s thoughts. To help them understand the thoughts driving their feelings.
I have practiced hard to just be still, be quiet. Asking the questions to help them see what is going on in their own heads. Help them see what is driving their hearts to feel whatever they are feeling.
So why did her post impact my heart and feel like a gut punch to me?
Time for me to do a bit of “self coaching” on myself.
What thoughts made my heart sink?
Thoughts of the end of a marriage.
The end of a relationship.
End of love.
End of being together.
End of having a partner in life.
End of sharing time.
And what feelings came from those thoughts?
Feeling like something is always missing.
For years those were my thoughts and feelings…and every time I looked at my naked finger, my heart continued to sink a bit more.
As much as I attempted to “get myself back out there” I became more select and more content to say “No thanks” to options not suitable.
Time being alone, had given me great clarity.
Clarity on choosing someone honest. Someone trustworthy. Someone I could count on. Someone I longed to be with and to share my time. Someone who could appreciate my shenanigans and might even be amused. Someone willing to run through the sprinklers on the golf course. In an adult community. Now wouldn’t that be a sight.
I achieved great clarity, after many years of sitting on the bench. I had time to observe, watch others and see how they do life. Time had given me clarity and fresh new eyes on love and commitment.
After many years of having a naked finger, I bought myself a beautiful diamond ring from Costco…and flowers too.
I have beautiful loved ones in my life and each time I look at the beautiful ring I bought for myself, I think of them.
I think of my LOVED ones and my deep love for them. I didn’t need a ring to do this…but I LOVE diamonds and flowers, so I treated myself.
To a forever token of LOVE. A token of LOVE for the loved ones in my life and how very blessed I am to have their love.
My prayers and love to the lady who just removed her wedding ring.
I pray your heart does not ache like mine did for so many years.
I pray you can look at all the loved ones in your life and feel their love and support as you move forward.
We don’t have to be alone.
We don’t have to be lonely.
Quiet time can bring great clarity.
I pray for love and clarity for you.
Your heart can be full – despite having a naked finger.
I pray you always choose Love.